A boo boo-Public apology

%$&*^&^#^%$#^&**(#&

I , Diana Soh herby apologise to the public for using the condemmed “F” word. It was unintentional , i repeat unintentional.If you are really braindead when you read my blog , just to let you know , i am kind enough to explain what is the meaning of unintentional-It means , not intented . If you dont know what is intended , i suggest you go back to primary 4 .

I am very guilty about using that word . Infact so guilty that I feel like using it again -NOT! haha . Actually the usage of the “F” word did not pop out unknowingly , it is (as studied in SBS) attribution theory . I am going to apply here .

My ENVIRONMENT is to be blamed . Names are changed to protect the person privacy .

1: Jeeeemmmmy -uses way too much “KNN” “CCB” “F**K” and so on . The list for him nv stops . He is the founder of wikipedia

2: Tira- Uses way too much “F**K” and all the Hokkien proverbs….she occasionally roars

3: Yandreu ….when stress and cannot eat ice-cream uses the “F Word”. Oh and when he mention bah zhang . He just loose it. i mean , really looose it.

4 : Wick…The guy is Full of foul words. I cant relate to this criminal at all.

5: ellerie : A*s Hol* -specially for Yanderu. when he mention her Le*t**

6: Nang Weiiii- suprising yes , he uses FFFFFFFF .twice i think :)

Now all criminals have criminal record . Faces are shown to protect citizens from their mouthssssss.

 (super unimpress by jeeeemy’s bad breath -loook at his Opened mouth  and Yisa Snort )

Criminals from left to right .

Yandreu , Nang Weiii , Police Tan -he helped me nabbed them with a piece of watermelon , Wick and Jeeeeeemy (GANG LEADER)

 L TO R – Ellerie and Tira . Do note that they are still smiling despite being caught . bad sign.

 To prove that I am PURELY GOOD -except for the one time “F” slip , i am feeding lunatics. Jeeeeeeemy and Wick – The bane of the soceity .

 Most wanted father and daughter couple.deadly dangerous , Thank goodness inspector Soh caught the lethal pair.

 

Community involvement project -eating with the inmates.

Ok . You are with inspector Soh , thank you for reading prime time blog .

After Kang wei left me :(

yes , kang wei had to leave me ! we were not going to the same direction. He has to go luncky plaza , and i had to collect my phone at wisma, seperate ways … we parted haha.

Ok now let me tell you the unbelivable, I , DIANA SOH LI YU STALKED A GUY! oops. ok after being stalked 3 times in my life , i decided to turn the tables.

My victim?

an mids student. abt 1.5 head shorter than kang wei . dressed in white shirt with green logo . I stalked him from the bustop to paragon , to wisma, to pargon again and to plaza singapura. stopping only when he had to work at coffee bean in taka  , the best part he knew i was stalking !!!!! so fun! haha before he went to wrk , he turn arnd and said , i know you are following me , and he started to laugh , i was so embarassed i ran away . so much for a stalker!

To a maid that was born in shanghai

Loooooooong,loooooong time ago, in the sothen province of China(shanghai) there lived a girl named : Tisa Yeeeeeeeeek . She was as dirty as the floor of her room , as filthy as the can of crockroaches she ate . One day , her step mother , also the queen of the Shang hai province told Tisa Yeeeeeeek that she will be sent to Singapore. The reason . She was too unbearable for her step mom. Besides being filthy and eating crockroaches, she had a nasty habit of roaring (so uncultured!) . So she was herby banish to Singamdis to learn how to be a good maid .

When she reached Singamdis, she found out that the people were very kind. The beauties and hunks that she made friends were: val, diana , bee yean , angie , gomes, audrey , andrew ,jimmy , kangwei and dick.  as time pass by , the hunks and beauty realised that the maid had work too hard and desided to give her a memorable birthday…… people who see this blog , please under the comments coloumn type out what DO YOU THINK will happen on her bade!

-happy bdae- roarer

Diana and her porh porh

I know , I know you are irritated .cool it ya?(random consolation)

below is a conversation with me mom , with regards to my twin peaks

ma: dada use this

me: (saw the titile and read out loud) Breast firming and lifting with ylang ylang and papaya extract

ma: Ya , use it ur porh porh v small

me: Horrified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ma i am only 18!sure small one!

ma:nvm this cream can work wonders , from A to B

me:Then like that no need to go and do plastic surgery already

ma : haha u so funny

me:?????????

so if my breast goes from A to B . you come to me , i tell you which brand . and the price …ect strictly for Females. If you are a male . Go to gym and drink those milkshakes

I look horrid .but the girls are pretty

 My most unglam picture todate-way before i was with el  they look damn good ,If i was a guy …HAHHAHAHA ok people.That was a looooooooooong time ago . I ve cut my hair already . Eldric has broken up with me , and i am an entirely new person. i will keep similing.  Dont messsssss with me! or i flash you off to the ends of the earth.

I want to be Hephaestion-The-Gladiatress :)

I want to be like Russel Crowe. Fight animals ,be bloodthirsty. Be redeem doing it.

Just watch Gladiator , was very smitten by (not Russel  Crowe’s abs) but by the moves. he basked in glory while defeateing Mr Godzilla. I feel so intruigued by his killng styles.Boy oh boy . I think i ,may kill someone soon. hehe.Just kidding but i would love to travel back in time to the colossum and fight . It will be good if the fight is held before my menses, then i will surely win .Havent you heard of hell hath no fury like a woman scorn? yups . Thats my weapon.

Ok you may think Diana’s gone mad. She went mad studying but no . I assure you i am perfectly sane . Please dont try to bring out my randomness to destroy my perfectly sane testimonial. I tell you i am sane .If you dont belive me i will kill you . Galdiatress Thou art.

Thats not me, but with plastic surgery i can become her :p

Ok next i want to be Hephaestion. Hephaestion who??Greek: Ήφαιστίων Hephaestion Amyntoros, born ca. 356 BC – died Autumn 324 BC), son of Amyntor, a Macedonian aristocrat. Boon-companion, general, to Alexander the Great (thanks wikipedia!)

 ok he is Mr alexander the great lover .If you wondered how i got my history facts right suddenly , it is attributed to the show , Alexander-The-Great. While i was suppose to be slaving ,doing my studies on SBS, i went and feast on Hephaestion. Hephaestion played by jared leto (ex-bf of cameron diaz before she went to mr cry me a river aka as the guy who bared janet jackson.) is the most desirable role i ever want to play .Of course after gladiatress. That is because he is faithful,beautiful,rich and gay.Gay was accepted by greeks. I think Mr alexander is very tryannic and is sexy. i want to be his loverboy

 Mr hephaestion in statue in person.

*hiazzzzz this is life.fame glory and love. all in one I want to be a Hphaestion the gladiatress…. hehe :p please dont tell anyone abt this ..hush

My date with E.E.B(english educated beng)

Yesterday was shucky.

Tell me what is the 1st impression you get when you see this logo? Alright except for mdis friends , i am sure you will link this logo to Mr extraordinary . For once this logo will not be accociated with him.Although I would love to .:p

 I went out with a true Blue rich acs beng yesterday . He was from acs (b) . Trust me I had hell.Although the only good part was we ate at some high class American club, the rest was a PURE 100% (no added preservertives ) agony . I was on the brink of despair when my friend told me she couldnt make it . I was stranded with his cousin and him.Haha  just to add his cousin is a eurasian. Cute ? Yes . Desirable ? NOOOOOOO! It was the scariest date of my life . Ok not really scariest , cause there was one time i went out with a stalker..Not to digress.He tried to impress me by putting down his cousin and BRAGGGGGGING! Gosh and my ear bled.

I dont understand why waste yourself away . He (Mr beng) was born with a silver (polished) spoon . With a maid to polish it again whenever the shine went out. Ypu have a house in orchard , credit cards to boot . PLEASE *slap slap* wake up . The world is not abt partying . Look at Indonesia , look at Africa, when i say Africa , its Africa, not Angelina Jolie.they are being wasted due to Lack of food and lodging . You? Song,wine and girls!

The best part ? He likes me . After meeting me for a miserable of 2 and a half hours …. why why why?? i want my be-spectacled yuppie , not be-drunk yuckieeee arrrrrgh! God help me!

My date with E.E.B(english educated beng)

Beautiful? Or a portrayal of sinful nature.

Come on tell me . What is beauty . Is it beauty in the eyes of the beholder ? Or the inside that really counts .Fatal Love, Courtly Love, Beauty -Thats what shakespeare ala Mr baldly said.

Love sums up beauty .is it true or that beauty is only skin deep .If that is the case , why do people still do plastic surgery ? I am not talking about Lohan fish (linsay luohan) or pam Aderson (baywatch !baywatch !) but the average ,simple,heartlanded Singaporean.

It petrifies me to see that as the world ages, more and more people are associating people who are good looking as epitome of a Human being.When someone ask me if i will ever have plastic surgery , i had to think twice before answering! And even so the answer is yes ,yes to botox at the age of 50 . My goodness why do i want to be a beauty queen ah ma ??? Is it that impt ? God says look at the inside .Then why do i still have myopic perspective? I AM Shallow. I need to change that .

Issit sinful to look good? what seperates a good looking person from another .

Dear readers . Do not be shock the answer boils down to ahem phytogaras theory.

The golden ratio-It explains why some women or men are better looking . It also explains that beauty is calculated.

This divine porportion will make things pleasing to the eye. Do not be shock. God created things in his own image, have you ever ask yourself why Mona Lisa appeals to people >?

It is the beauty of the Golden ratio. Click this url to find out more

http://www.intmath.com/BasicAlg/mathOfBeauty.php

http://plus.maths.org/issue22/features/golden/

You have learn a new thing . I am shallow and the art of beauty .

Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity
- Plato

People are like stained glass windows — the true beauty can be seen only when
there is light from within. The darker the night, the brighter the windows
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

maybe,i wont get my botox after all.

 

Today you shall learn!

 Alright today Jimmy,Val,Tisa and Andrew didnt really study . Instead we played truth (no dare cause Val dont dare):p Before i get to write down some juicy info that I got from the game, I MUST DECLARE A STATEMENT! JIMMY IS A RAPIST!HE IS THE ULTIMATE UNSCRUPULOUS SCUMBAG OF THE ERA-before he graduated from Secondary school.Ok before the police knocks at my blog, i want to affirm everyone that no crime has been commited , however what he does will make counsellers panicwoth alarm. HE MIND RAPES.VICTIM? GIRLS-THE MORE ONE CRYS THE BETTER.BOYS-PUNY PEOPLE LIKE *ahem*ahem(pastel shades).SO PEOPLE BEWARE YOU ARE IN FOR A SCARE!

Alright enough abt the Criminal.I shall get on with the truth and dare . Secrets I have learnt that from this game , Andrew ajgdvsfb su vajhsfab swf ahfgsytdfayt ffuyrqh. Tisa iygfauiwgaueb g ayufa bwyuv s bfb rgjhsb fh hf Val asfhgvytd fcas fvuasf Jimmy agefvjhreh w .There I feel so much more relive after gosspiping about them in my Blog . It feels like i have just shitted . GREAT!beautiful.extravagant

Today you shall learn-I do not want my blog to be brainless .Therefore . I want to offer tips about everything under the sun to improve your (as put by Naidu) Miserable lives.Please ingest all tips with full endavour! thanks .

Beauty – some home tips Beauty myths

1 you can shink the size of the pores on your face

Not true . our pores are genetically dtermined .Please do not fall for the usual marketing strategies to minimise pores. The best advice i can give is to wash with icy cold water .

2 dry skin causes wrinkles

Not true . SUn causes it .please put sunblock>Crows feat are also cause by sun -BEware . Sun worshippers.

3 eating chocolates causes breakouts.

Not true-Pimples are genetically pre-deposited or from stress and late nights!

alright . It is three today . I had fun God bess you readers!